Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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