she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
