so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
