I bet he comes in French.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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