Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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