So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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