Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
