ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
