the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
