Did we literally take a cab across the street
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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