she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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