why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize