Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
