She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize