Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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