were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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