Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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