Say something about gay babies.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
