Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
