Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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