i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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