woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
