My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
