Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
