No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
