I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize