I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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