Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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