if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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