Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
