I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
