I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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