Kiss
Puke
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Blood and glitter go together right?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
the raccoons are back...
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