this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
