It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
