I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
