Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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