There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
