question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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