Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
