But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
