Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize