Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
