I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
