i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
