I CAN MOONWALK!
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
