weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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