You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
