I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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