So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
