No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
why do cheetos always look like penises
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
A bitchslap is in order.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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