don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize