So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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