Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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