I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
