So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
