You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
