I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
