She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
