I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
