i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize