Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
