WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
